So it's day 12 of Capture Your Grief and the post of the day was scents. I posted that I associate my perfume with Xander because I wore it all the time when I was pregnant with him.
Then I worked out after I made the post, showered blah blah blah, went to get some sweats on and realized I pulled out the pair I wore the day I delivered Xander. And it's also the pair I wore pretty much every day. (hey, I was barely allowed a 5 minute shower, don't judge me!)
We just moved and Rob had put a bunch of clothes in a trash bag and the other day I just dumped it in the basket and washed it all. I washed the sweats. They had been sitting on Xander's big box in our closet. And I'm still wearing them.
I refused to wear them while I was pregnant and kind of forgot about them just sitting in the corner of our closet. They don't fit me as well. I'm actually 8 lbs heavier than when I delivered Xander. Grief can do that to you...and having a pregnancy where you actually go to term. These sweats fit my pregnant body perfectly with Xander. They became a second skin. It's like that one good pair of jeans that you love because they fit you perfectly. Well, they used to be that way. It's weird being in them but at the same time it seems appropriate with it being October awareness month. Hmm.
I miss Xander. Good night.
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