Monday, June 27, 2011

The Fight

You never seized to amaze the doctors
Who told us your life wouldn't last much longer
But I knew deep down
You were made to be my fighter.
I rested for weeks
Took it easy as much as I could
And one day I felt you kick,
I cried with excitement.
One day I'd see those kicks
From outside the womb.
Weeks went by and then a month
Things were looking up.
"See!" I told everyone
"I knew he would make it!"
Your kicks became strong
My body began to heal
But there were things we didn't see,
Words we never thought we would hear.
Things weren't looking good
But I always looked forward to the night,
For that's when you kicked me the most
To let me know you were alright.
January 12th we were told you would make it
This fight and journey would all be worth it.
I looked forward to that night, to feel  your tiny feet
Little did I know, I'd get to hold them the next day.
Your kicks slowed down, contractions had started,
I woke up your Dad, fear lied within his eyes,
"It'll be alright," I told him, "our son is a fighter".
We heard your heart beat one last time
But I knew deep down, nothing was alright.
Within a few short hours we were told the news
"I'm sorry," he said "I have bad news".
Daddy saw your lifeless body
As I screamed to God
"Why!? Why did you take our son!?"
We held you, your lifeless body.
So quiet and warm.
You had your grandfather's feet,
My lips
Your dad's nose and eyes.
My dear sweet son
How could this be?
That our hello would also be goodbye.
I didn't want to leave you
I still want to hold you one last time
I still want to kiss you one more time.
We still have no answers to why we lost our fight
And some days it feels,
Like no hope is in sight.
But every time the wind blows
And the train rolls by
I know you are still here
Right by our sides.