I'm sitting here feeling my little guy do flips and kicks in my belly and can't help but to think of how blessed I am. Xander's journey was very long and very excruciating. I wish I had started this blog when I was pregnant with him. But this little guy has been the complete opposite. We've had a few scares here and there but mostly I just think it's been my nerves. I'm 27 weeks today.
There are times when I get so overwhelmed (like 3 hours ago) and start crying in fear that we will lose another baby. So when I have moments like I'm having now, feeling blessed and so lucky, I really try to take advantage of it because these moments are rare. I'm reminded of the painful path we've been through to get where we are but it has been worth it. I grieve for our first two sons every day still. It's so hard to balance grief and a current pregnancy. Part of me still wants to hide in my bed all day and cry out for the sons we've lost and the other part of me wants to get dressed and shout from a mountain top that I'm pregnant and will have a baby come April. It can really get confusing. I am just so happy that this one has been so easy.
Some days I still have my normal pregnancy complaints. The nausea, the return of nausea, the general fatigue, lower back pain, round ligament pain, stretch marks in places I didn't know I could get stretch marks and so on. Overall though, I have no reason to complain. I have an active and healthy baby inside of me. That's all that counts.
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