That's how long we've been without him.
Xander.
I miss him like crazy tonight. The more time passes, the more it seems like a dream.
I laugh more, cry less. I act like a normal functioning human. I am going back to college. And after that, maybe I'll finally work again. I can go to the grocery store and admire the other babies because my living baby, is admiring them too. I can watch a baby be born and cry tears of joy. Not tears of jealously and pain. I never thought I'd get here.
Yet, here I am.
I am breathing. I have a living baby that is sleeping in his crib. I am planning his first birthday party where he will be. I fill out his baby book. I record his firsts. I taught him how to clap his hands.
I can't believe I'm here.
